This is from a guest writer who wishes to be anonymous, please enjoy and add to the discussion after reading!
Anorexia, bulimia, panic attacks, mood swings, being sad, getting mad, smoking, eating things that are not good for us too often, overeating, binge eating, cutting, burning, abusing alcohol, indulging in illicit or overusing prescription drugs. These are all things that can lead to that empty black void you feel afterward that leaves you feeling depressed, ashamed, and guilty. Someone or something triggered these responses. Do you know what these are in your life?
Trigger is an often used word that is associated with some sort of addiction but it can be anything for anyone and leaving them open to a poor emotional and physical reaction. The key to getting in touch with these triggers is to carefully become aware of your reaction to different situations. Your partner/spouse/family know exactly what button(s) to push to make you feel angry, sad, happy, etc. Then why do your loved ones use them? To gain control over a little part of their life for a short time, maybe? Who knows their reasoning for doing this? Most times the answer is NO ONE. It’s up to each of us to figure out what those buttons are and defuse the energy that is given to them.
There are many therapies that can help you take control of these buttons/triggers. The one that is “the right one” is the one that works for you! Hypnosis, meditation, deep breathing, exercising, grounding yourself in reality before reacting, look at the situation from a different perspective to name very few. You have to be open first to learning to take a moment to think before you react and decide if your reaction is a healthful one. It is known, that first comes an action from someone or something else. Second comes a thought of how who will react or deal with what has been done. Third is our outward reaction. And lastly, what happens afterwards. If we allow ourselves to take that split second of thought before we react and extend the time we give it, would you have the same reaction? You get the time to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. To actually get what is being said, the undertones, rather than the words that are actually being said. For instance, spouse comes home from a very hard day at work where nothing went right. Begins yelling at other spouse about why this or that wasn’t done or completed or where is dinner, why aren’t the kids settled and why are their toys all over. If we stop and think before reacting by yelling back, we can nip this argument in the bud and figure out what’s really going on so that after we don’t feel guilty about something that was not our fault in the first place and thus keeping us from a trigger that would lead us to depression.
You have to get to take the time and find your triggers. You should do this with someone whether it be your family, friends, professional, or someone who may actually say or do the actions that are your triggers to become more depressed. They have to understand that you have decided to take an active part in your mental health for everyone’s sake. You have to tell them what you are trying to do and why. Set boundaries or time out spots for yourself to calm down from whatever triggered you to become depressed. Once you have done that, you are actively taking a role in your own life for things to happen around you and not to you. It’s not easy. It’s very hard. It takes lots of practice. You have to be committed to doing this for it to work. It isn’t the easy path but it’s the way to the right one.
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