“Did you really want to die?”
“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”
“Then why do they do it?”
“Because they want to stop the pain.”
― Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star
Sometimes I feel the anxiety before i react physically to it, the thought will buzz in my head, I try to stop the thought, but that is like trying to stop the wind. My thought, pumped full of worry and fear, clinches my mind, and goes down my body and lands in my guts. Our enteric nervous system has over 30 different neurotransmitters, that is why people who suffer anxiety and depression will usually have IBS along with it, like brothers in arms. I then feel the fear race up and down my neural tracks, from my head to my toes, and I go into panic mode.
Either it be emotional pain, or physical pain, we will do anything to stop it. We can not function very well in pain, and we will pay the ultimate price in putting an end to it. I have known people who have lost their families and friends, to end their pain. We will end ourselves to end the pain.
One of the ways our minds are wired, is that when we are going through intense hurt, it is hard to think rationally. Anyone is capable of anything, depending on the circumstances, especially when we are not logical. If someone is in enough pain, they would sell their families and friends in a heartbeat to end it, even their own life.
My job, as a life coach and counselor, is to become the rational thought for that person. To build up their mind and body to be able to deal with the pain, so we can cross the threshold together and get through it. Eventually the pain will end, one way or another, and it is possible to get through it without destruction.
I feel problems come, when the person believes they need to solve their problems on their own, without the support of others. Years ago, I used to do ultrasound, I would look for tumors in the organs. Many of the people who had cancer, would keep it a secret from their loved ones, because they did not want to burden them.
Of course, I was shocked when I heard of such things, because in reality, secrets do not exist. When you carry around such a burdens by yourself, it comes out one way or another, pain does not hide.
You will be telling them, it could be by anger, or sadness, or withdrawal or through the abuse of substances to numb you. Just because you are not using your words, it will come out. We do want the pain to come out, but we want it to come out on our terms, through support and love.
I could go on forever with this subject, but I will end it here for today
I want to hear what you think, please join the conversation, I want this website to be the support to end our pain.