How to save yourself


panic - How to save yourselfSometimes I do not know I am having an anxiety melt down, until I am in the middle of the storm.  It usually comes after I have had a rough couple of days.  The first symptom is the hate that creeps in, like an acid eating away at my good vibes, first slow, and then fast.  When I try to throw good thoughts at the negativity, the pessimism eats it up like a pack of piranhas.  Panic begins to set in, because the anger is strong, and I know that I am not in the right mind.

This particular anxiety meltdown happened when I was out, looking for some new running shoes. I tell the store clerk at Play Makers, thank you for the help, and I exit quickly.  The day is sweltering hot, and sticky, and it adds to the chemical imbalance already swirling in my mind and body.  I go to some shade, and draw in deep breaths.  I understand that the attack is not going to go away anytime soon.


I have written contingency plans, for such occasions.  In the past, when the anger/depression storms would come, I did not have enough sense to get myself help.  I would stay at work, and trust the emotions were legitimate.  Those were the times that I would lose my job, because I would brilliantly confront my boss or co-workers.  Or lose relationships, because the anger I felt had to be passed on.  I could not let those around me be happy, when I was so miserable.  It is what psychologists call “transference.” I had to keep the storm from radiating to others.


The contingency plan, that I have prepared, has saved me from myself multiple times over.  While I was under the tree, outside of Play Makers, I pull out my paper.  It reads, “Mental Storm Emergency.”

  1. Get away from the situation
  2. Take deep breaths
  3. Do not make any big life decisions until the storm has passed. That includes calling up girlfriends, friends, or bosses
  4. Get home, if you can. Avoid highways and leave a big cushion of space between you and other drivers.  Do not engage any drivers in a negative way.  Keep breathing deep, and just get home.
  5. Once home, drink a large glass of water
  6. Eat some healthy food
  7. Get into bed, put on self-hypnosis recording, and close your eyes. Try to get some sleep
  8. If sleep is achieved, and the storm has settled, call up one of your friends on the list (people that I trust, whom I can talk to) if needed.
  9. Keep getting proper, sleep and nutrition and exercise (if needed) until the storm has succumb.


In the contingency plan, I also have a list of excuses to give to people, in case I need to leave a situation.  Unfortunately, in this day and age, a lot of people do not consider mental illness a real disease, especially depression.  If someone has a sore throat, they are good to go, but a serious depression, well you better stay at work buddy!


I suggest you make contingency plans for yourself, especially for times when you are having a really bad day.  It is next to impossible to think rationally, when things get emotional.  It is nice to have a list, already thought out, that you can follow.

I want you to be safe and happy.  Tell me what you think! I hope you  have a wonderful day

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574



Dark side


“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” 

Mark Twain

My dark side has been with me for so long, laying in the trenches of my mind. The darkness was with me during my childhood, and became stronger as I aged. I was 12, and I remember waking up Christmas morning, the skies where grey and cold. And I had a feeling of emptiness inside me, mixed with fear. This feeling had been growing inside of me, peace becoming less, and the anxiety growing more. Even at that age, I knew these feelings were not normal or good, I remember regretting being so young, because I did not want to live so long with such tremendous negativity. It wouldn’t be until years later, that I would start finding coping mechanisms that would be able to penetrate the thick hide of my dark side. How I even managed to become a paramedic, or firefighter during those times, is a mystery. I had to take myself out of the emergency profession eventually, because when the darkness did rear it’s ugly head, my focus and concentration would melt away like a snowman in the summer sun.

Presently, my dark side still resides within me. I have come to the conclusion that it will never go away, it is buried deep within my genetics. I have decided though that it is not going to run my life, and that I can function with it. I have also found incredible ways of sweeping it out of my mind. I wish I could go back in time, and teach my younger self what I have learned. I guess that is the most important thing someone in pain can do, is to find others who suffer, and teach them how to get through it. One of the great turning points of my life, is that I learned how to accept the darkness, and even learn from it. Another turning point, is that I learned communication, I would ferociously read books on how to connect with others, so I could find out if what I had existed in other people, and to build support groups. Because no one should live with such a condition, alone.

I learned that my family tree is ripe with people who suffer depression, so obviously there was a genetic component. I also learned it struck the males in the family. So I reached out, and found that the people  I grew up, had the same beast within. Even my own father. It was an eye opener.

I asked my dad why he had children, knowing that he was depressed himself. I could see that the question hurt him, so I instead gave him a hug and told him I was happy he had me. Because of course, my dark side has a light. And I have to remember that when I am feeling down.

I know I am not alone in this, that is why I have designed this website. I think it is much more common then people let on. It is time to speak out, just getting your story out there is going to help yourself and countless others. I think people give up hope when they feel  alone. That was the most frustrating part of the depression for me, for years, I thought I was the only one that felt such terrible emotion. That, of course, was very far from the truth.

I want to learn from you, tell me your story….

Join me on Twitter or YouTube, have a wonderful day