Frustration

moment

 

“There is no failure except in no longer trying.”

Elbert Hubbard

We all know that life is not fair, we should eliminate that word from our vocabulary, because for me, it causes anger. Fairness is one of those extremely vague, and general terms that we use, to try to make sense of the world.

With that being said, that is why I will not give up, and at the same time, not take this life so seriously.

Pain for me comes when I take things to seriously, when I feel I have to complete all my missions. I think real peace comes in when you let go, and just enjoy who you are in the moment.

I remember writing an article on frustration, and how to not be so frustrated. The ironic thing was, I was extremely frustrated while writing the article. I was frustrated that I didn’t have more subscribers, or more clients. I was frustrated that school was costing me so much, and that my job was paying so little. I was angry at how old I was becoming, and that there is nothing I can do to stop time.

That was when a big smile crossed my lips, and I realized how much all those things don’t matter. It is an illusion that all those things would bring me happiness. With that mind frame, if I had a thousand subscribers, I would then wish I had a million. If I had 50 clients, I would want a hundred. It was a terrible mind frame to have, that is why so many millionaires are unhappy, they still believe they are not making enough, and that life is treating them unfairly.

It all boils down to appreciating what we have in the moment, and enjoying the moment. Just feeling good where you are at.

That is achieved by turning off the conscious chatter, and looking at the sun rays that are splashed on your table or floor, looking at the shapes, and the miracle of light. It is done by hearing the drones of the cars outside, and the chirping of the birds, let their sounds free you of thought and worry.

It is knowing that everything is going to be OK, and that everything is OK.

I want to learn from you! Please join the discussion or join me on Twitter.

Have a wonderful day.

Dangerously content

lazy

“Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will–tomorrow”

― Gloria Pitzer

Tom came to me, not knowing where else to go, still shocked of the news his wife gave him earlier that morning. We met at the public gardens, and when I saw his face, I knew an emotional grenade had blown him up not to long ago.

I could see my distorted reflection within his glassy eyes, and I asked him, “What is wrong?”
He spoke solemnly and said, “My wife is filing for divorce.”
I looked at him, not saying anything, I was just studying his presence, waiting for him to continue, he then said,
“I don’t understand. I was nothing but perfect to her, we never argued or fought, I never cheated, I didn’t drink or smoke, I didn’t have a temper. I just don’t understand what happened. We have been married for thirteen years, this makes no sense!”
I could see that he was genuinely confused, I still remained silent, so I could absorb everything he was saying.

I have known Tom and Patricia (his wife) for a long time. And at one time they seemed like one of the happiest couples around. They were more then just husband and wife, more then just best friends, they were a team. I was envious and happy for what they had, it just seemed their relationship was so natural. Of course, over the years, things changed.

I wanted to tell Tom what I saw, but I knew I needed to hold my tongue. It wasn’t my job to give him my opinion, or advice. My job was to listen, to put myself into his shoes and see things from his perspective.

Tom’s story paralleled a lot with the other stories Iv’e heard. I understood what happened, because he was right, it was nothing he did, it is what he didn’t do that caused the relationship to crumble. Of course, there are no such things as 100 percent blame, a relationship is not destroyed solely because of one person.

It always seemed to boil down to two things. One being not lack of communication, but the lack of the right kind of communication.

The second thing, the one thing I call the most dangerous emotion of all, being too content.

When people become too content, too satisfied, they stop growing as a person. Once Tom achieved marrying the love of his life, he stopped pursuing her, because he had her (in his mind). The problem with that notion is, nobody really has anybody.

Tom, somewhere along the line, stopped pursuing her. They used to work on projects, go to movies, dinners, travel, and all that came to a slow stop. When people stop feeling appreciation from the one they are with, they will find appreciation somewhere else.

Of course, being content just isn’t dangerous for relationships, but for everything. Their is a difference between being appreciative for what you have, and growing. We should always be pursuing, learning new things, striving to better our minds, bodies and soul. When you better yourself, you better others, and if you can better yourself with someone else, you have a love that is evolving. Being content is being stagnant.

I used to be a runner, I ran cross country for my college team, and I was pretty good, I wasn’t winning any medals, but I was alright. Anyway, I decided to take a couple weeks off running after the season was over, because I was really tired of it. And I felt I deserved it. Anyhoo, weeks turned into months, months into a year. After I took a year off, I decided it would be a good idea to sign up for a 5K race. No big deal, I could run one of those in my sleep. I remember the gun going off, and I took off….

I barely finished the race, I was so exhausted. I used to run 5:10 minute miles, and that changed to 7:45 minute miles. I was shocked when I ran through the finish line about how slow I became. The point of all this is that I was content, I stopped training and I assumed my body would attain the same power and speed it had when I quit running. Of course in retrospect that was ridiculous. And that is exactly what happened to Tom and his relationship. He thought things were amazing, because they were amazing at one point of time. Everything rots unless we give active appreciation and care to it.  Just maintaining what you have takes effort and work.

Thank you for reading! I want to hear your thoughts on the post so I can learn from you. Have a wonderful day

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