Revenge and the digestive system

vengeance

 

 

“Vengeance is a monster of appetite, forever bloodthirsty and never filled.”

― Richelle E. Goodrich, The Tarishe Curse

 

We all know what it is like to have hate inside our bodies, to feel wronged, and to think of ways to achieve vengeance on those who have hurt us. Sometimes, vengeance is the greatest motivator of all. Our society seems to be bent on revenge, getting back at those who injured us. Retribution has gotten so large, it seems I am almost losing track of all the things I need to take my revenge on.

When I turn on the news, the first thing I see are the people who have done terrible things to society, and what society plans on doing back to them. For example, taking the perpetrator to prison for life, or just giving them death. I have realized, even as a young child that our prison systems are not designed for rehabilitation, but instead for punishment, and that was a very scary notion indeed. Prisons are designed for vengeance. And even after the perpetrator is released, they are to be shunned by society, their crimes to follow them forever, to ever find a job or go back to school near impossible. I have to ask myself this, once revenge has been delivered, does society feel better. I would have to say that of course, their is some great momentary satisfaction. But after the satisfaction subsides, it dissipates, and then I am looking for someone else to exact my rage upon.

I was inside Meijer’s today, and walking past the aisles where they have what seems an endless abyss of tabloids, with covers so glossy it reflects the cheap fluorescent lights up above, I see a very interesting cover. It seems that Tailor Swift is going to war with Kim Kardashian, what strong words! I have to ponder, why would these two entertainment icons be at war with each other, and why would anybody even care? I then grasped the concept that America loves to pit one person against another, because vengeance has turned out to be very entertaining.  We have many TV shows about revenge, from everything from being at war with zombies to war with skeletor.   Come to think of it, war is just a long, drawn out, organized revenge.

With all my preaching aside, I am going to have to say that I do not like vengeance simply because having that hate and anger inside me, is very uncomfortable. Love and compassion just feels so much better, and so much less draining on my nervous and digestive system. Being angry has been scientifically proven to cause terrible diseases on the body, everything from cancer to strokes, to ulcers. So I decided, that instead of looking at people as bad, who deserve payback, maybe I should  instead look at them as needing compassion. Now, of course that is easy to say, because if depends on what they did. Perhaps the crime is so bad, they need to be taken out of society and compassion for that individual is near impossible. But speaking for myself, if I am able to reframe the situation in my mind, from feelings of hate and transform them into feelings of care and empathy, my bodily functions just feel so much better. It seems people who do heinous things, do not need extra hate from me, because they probably already getting it from themselves. And if it were up to me, I would take them out of society, but not for revenge, but for rehabilitation, and I would do that because it would better benefit society. Because once that person is out of prison, and if they are their strictly for punishment, they are going to want to exact revenge on us, and around and around and around it goes.

So in conclusion, yes, vengeance does feel sweet and good, but only for the moment. Try to reframe the situation into compassion, it is going to feel so much better for you. And really, their is no greater revenge, then someone who is doing well in life, especially on those who tried to hurt you.

Trees and the mind

 

trees

 

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” ― Eckhart Tolle

 

Building a website, going back for a masters, working a job, it has all been so overwhelming that I have realized that I am not enjoying the process very much. I feel that no matter how much work I put in, mountains of other work needs to get done, and then I comprehend that what I am trying to do, will never be done. In times like this, I remember people like Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra, two incredible leaders in progressive thinking, and I think about what they would tell me in situations like this. I have to remember to stop thinking about the future so much, because the future does not exist. If I am always thinking about the future, thinking about what I have to accomplish, I will never just enjoy the moment. Because in reality, that is all we have. I have found out it is wonderful to have goals and dreams, and that we should absolutely work toward our goals and dreams, but you have to enjoy the present process of it.

I have appreciated the fact that I am not able to willingly turn off my thoughts, and that I am constantly either in regret (past) or thinking about the future (anxiety). When I am not in the present, when I am not focused on the present moment, I feel the energies within my body not being able to move, I guess in a way they have become stagnate.

The best ideas I have ever had, did not come to me from continuous thinking, but instead, they came to me from moments of peace. I remember when I was taking a walk, looking at the shadows from the trees, and listening to the wind dance through the leaves. My mind was quite, and my soul felt warm, that is when the best ideas bubble up from my awareness. I believe that ideas sometimes come from outside of us, and can flow within us from the energy that connects us all. It is through peace, that we heal, that we become the best person we can be.

So how can one stop the obsessive thoughts of the past and future from bombarding them? The solution, I found, is sort of a riddle. It is simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing to do.   For example, just letting your eyes focus on an object and go lazy, then paying attention to your breath will put you in a state of meditation, and with practice, your thoughts will begin to slow down and eventually stop. When they do stop, even if it is for 5 seconds at a time, the energies of the universe will begin to flow through you. And the more you do it, the more peace you will have in your life.

Someone once told me that you can relate your life to a lake. If someone does not have a strong, peaceful core within them, their lake is going to be shallow, and when a storm comes their life is going to be rough. Someone who has a strong peaceful core has a very deep lake, and when a storm comes, only the surface is turbulent, but down below, the water of the lake is still. The point of the metaphor is that, if you work on making the mind remain still for long enough, eventually, nothing that happens to you in the outside world is going to matter.

Do I really believe this is possible? I unquestionably do. Do I believe it is easy to go on with life and go back to my old ways of conditioning and thinking? Yes, and that is why I am feeling so very overwhelmed again, because I have not been practicing what I know works so well. So after I post this, I am going to go meditate on the trees, and still my mind, so I can make my lake ever so deep.

 

 

Sylvester Stallone, quote of the day

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa

Oceans of content

treasure

So many lives I see, such beauty in them, traveling the worlds, making it look easy. Just a little bit of elbow grease and a solid target and then you strike gold. Mind spinning, wondering, where is the prize. Elbow grease, check, goals, check, gold? Nothing. Captain, this ship is running out of food and water, and the men are getting anxious and hungry. We cannot sail forever, and there is another storm coming. The ship crashes against the waves, and the mind is feeling heavy. Sail back to the shore, alas, that shore shows no promise, and the resources near gone. Captain Ford, captain Shakespeare, how did you do it? Captain Leto, captain Lincoln, you sailed so far and wide. What did you gather at the shores to sail through the storms? How did you meet thy crew? How did you inspire thee? I realize then, it is not the answers to the questions, but the questions to the answers. We must sail on, or sink into the oceans of content.

Old age and New thoughts

IMG_0578

Life seems to get harder, as I get older.  Things that used to be simple, are not so simple anymore.  For example, losing weight.  I used to be able to shed weight off my body very easily, a pound a day if I was motivated, lately though, it seems no matter what I try, the weight just holds on like some sort of magical force.  Sometimes I even have to ask myself why I need to lose weight anyway, I forget that we live in a culture that is highly concentrated on the youth, and bodies that are almost impossible to attain.  I notice it is the norm in our culture to fight old age, like it is our enemy, instead of embracing it.  In fact, I have even noticed some people call old age a disease, if that is the case, then I guess every creature that has ever been born, every cell in fact, is diseased.  I have decided that I do not like that mindset, I find it very un-empowering.  There is a million ways to think about any situation, and no one can tell you which way to think is correct because it is all subjective.  If I say a music group is awesome, and someone else says they suck, we are both right.  So I am going to put on my reframing hat and decide that growing older is awesome, and that the advantages outweigh the negatives.   I am going to decide that I look better as I grow older, because it makes me feel good.  I am also going to decide that I am going to stop listening to the media so much, and all the ads that tell me in an indirect way that having wrinkles and losing my hair is ugly.  And I have decided that my health is related to more how I feel, instead of just how I look.  Even when I write this, I feel more confident, more self-ensured. In fact, I am going to stop calling it getting older, and instead I am going to call it being strong and surviving.  And that is being beautiful.  I have also decided I do not anyone’s permission to change my mindset, to make sure what I am thinking is correct, because I have chosen to listen to my gut, and my gut already agrees with everything I say.
So let’s go out there and do what makes us feel good.  Better yet, let’s go out there and think what makes us feel good.  Not just good thoughts, but good thoughts tailored just for us.   Let’s make getting older the new youth, because we do have a choice to think however we wish.  For a very long time, I never even knew that choice existed, thought I was a prisoner to the train of suggestions that went through my mind everyday.  And that is what happened to me, because that is what I believed, so one day I chose that, no, I am the creator of my thoughts, and that is exactly what is happening for me.

So I want to listen to what you think about the subject, please write back your thoughts.  Have a great day…..Coach Tony.

The real magic

It really is not difficult to find the love of your life, their really is only one thing people need, a magic bullet of the sorts. I have seen lots of dating coaches in action, I have seen techniques that make sense, and some that are so off the wall that I would bust out in laughter because of the craziness of it. Some will tell you to dress professionally, others tell you to peacock, (that is where you dress in clothes that make you stand out, like wearing a 5 ft. top hat on your head.) Some will tell you to go up to someone, and say what you are really thinking, even if it is sexually charged, (which I would not recommend) because it shows alpha status. Some will tell you to actually insult the person a little, because we all know how much we loved to be insulted! You can buy a hundred books on the craft of pickup, and they will all tell you something different about the equations of love. But, I have found one thing they all have in common, and the reason why if you choose anyone of those books, and work at it, it will eventually work for you…..

I have a friend, he has already spent thousands of dollars on personal dating coaches, and alas, he still cannot get a phone number when he goes out into the wild. So what gives? How can this be? Well, the reason is, he does not go out and practice, most nights he will go home, find excuses not to go out, and then fall back into the usually rut of his old habits. And when he does finally go out, he will go to a college bar (he is 37) and try to pick up younger women (which if that is what you like, more power to you.) But, of course, they look at him as the creepy old man in the bar (which he is.) So then he would get depressed, save his pennies, and hire another dating coach for a cool couple thousand dollars. Sometimes he will hire the exact same dating coach as he did before. I told him the same thing, that I am soon going to tell you, their really is only one thing you need, and that is courage.

For example, there are a billion different diets out there, I can think of one right off the top of my head and I will lose weight, hmm, the grape nuts diet. I only eat one bowl of grape nuts a day, and I will lose weight! Will I feel good, absolutely not, will I have diarrhea, you better believe it, but I will lose weight! The only solution is, is that I have to stick with it, and the same goes with finding true love, or a soul mate, or what the younger generation likes to call “booty calls.” If you go out, day after day, night after night, and keep practicing, eventually you will be become good. It just takes courage, you can use just one of a billion techniques, and it really doesn’t matter which one you use,

because you subconscious mind will make you better.

So that is the magic bullet, turning off the tv, getting off the internet, and going out there.

My name is Anthony Benedict, and I am a life coach, I specialize in making you the best you can be, have a great day.

magic

Belief

“Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right”
-Henry Ford

Belief is everything, it is more important then actual facts, because the mind will follow your beliefs, it is the reason why placebo effects are so powerful.

Have you ever wondered why some people are so wildly successful? Ever wondered how some people just seem to have everything they want out of life? It has got to be frustrating seeing that from people, especially when you feel like you have been like a hamster spinning in the same wheel for years, and frankly, you are getting tired. Some people seem to marry the right person right off the bat, get their dream job after the first try, and everything they touch just turns to gold. How is that possible? Are these people just smarter then us? Of course they are not, do they have more resources then us? That could be part of it, but it doesn’t explain everything, and then one day it just sort of hit me, it is their belief system, they are successful because they truly believe they are successful. Their mind just followed their belief, and boom, it happened.

So does that mean some of us have a default subconscious programming that creates fortune or failure? I believe their is a lot of truth to that, but just knowing that does little to solve the problem. It is like someone knowing they are extremely poor, just knowing is not going to to do anything unless they now how to start generating wealth.

So how do you change your beliefs? Beliefs are something that have been instilled inside in us when we were very young, and conditioned our entire lives. Changing a belief though is possible. I used to not believe in myself at all, it was like some sort of default mechanism in my mind, and the worst belief I had was that their was nothing I could do about it. No matter how consciously I tried to change myself, how much willpower I threw at the problem, I would always go back to my original negative programming. It was a very awful existence.

I remember envying those who had a deep faith, who truly believed they were going to go to heaven when they die, and spend the rest of their after life with their grandma and gramps. I envied those who believed their life had a divine plan, like god wrote it out eons ago. what an amazing thing to believe! And then I remembered something from physics, something profound, our minds can actually create reality, so if someone truly believes in something, then on some level it exists. So what I am saying is that belief truly is divine.

I then also recalled, not everything has to be hard either, to change your beliefs may not take years of pain staking psychotherapy, or meditating half your life on a mountain. It actually can just be a simple decision, of deciding to be happy today. Happiness and success can be as simple as that, just a choice, just telling your nervous system how life is going to be for now on. What defeated me in the beginning, was that I felt I had no control over my depression or anger, that it was predestined and that was that. But understanding that I did have a choice, that everything is a choice, and that choice had tremendous power, changed my perspective enough to make me successful. It was letting go of that conscious strain, of that willpower that made the decision to be happy so easy, all I had to do was say it in my mind, “I choose to be happy today,” and then you start using your mind, instead of your mind using you. I simply let go of the bad, and harnessed the good.

If you believe in god, you are right. If you do not believe in god, you are right. If the world is against you, you are correct, if the world loves you, you are correct as well. What we believe we see, what we say to ourselves is true…….So be careful what you say.