Money, romance and health

money romance health - Money, romance and health

 

Everyone wants the good life, money, romance and health.  We all want to feel important, and feel as though our life has meaning.  It does not seem it should be hard to do, with so many resources at our disposal.  The reality is though, is that most people are not content with their lives, in fact, many are downright miserable, and I was one of them.

For years, while I was chasing the dream of importance, I realized that I was not happy at all.  something was terribly off.  I was working well over full time hours at my job that, trying to increase my wealth, and it was making me miserable.  Every day I would wake up, go to work, come home exhausted, just to wake up and do the same thing.  At work, I would try to make friends, and when I got home I would take a small walk, to keep up with my exercise.  It seemed the American dream of having it all was not coming anytime soon.  I started wondering to myself, what is this dream I’m chasing?  I am literally selling my life, for a paycheck, so I can buy things that I really do not even need.  What was I doing with my existence?  I was not feeling important at all, instead I was feeling like a small ant amongst the millions of others, doing mindless work.  When I listened to rock music, on the car ride back to my place, I would think about the musicians, and how envious I was of them for living the life the way they wanted.   I felt ashamed for being envious, but I couldn’t help it.  I had my own talents, I played piano, and did stand-up comedy, but it never took off.   I have a friend though, who is a well-known comic, and I had him over to my place, and I tried to live vicariously through his stories.  The funny things was, he was not happy either.  He did not like being on the road , and he missed his family.  He did love being a stand-up comedian, because it is a lot like therapy, but it was beginning to be too much.  He then divulged to me, that being a stand-up comedian was nice, but he still felt he was missing something, he wanted something deeper.

 

So what was the solution?  Why were we not happy?  I had a job I worked hard at, that I thought would give me satisfaction, and my friend was more or less living the dream, doing something that he thought he would love.  I then realized what the problem was, we were both so busy, we had not time to enjoy the fruits of our labors, and our health was suffering.

 

I feel working hard is important, that putting in the hours, and doing what you love (for many people) is the key to happiness and satisfaction.  But life is a balance, and when that balance gets out of whack, bad things begin to happen.  Let’s face it, we are not meant to work endless hours, all year long.  We are not designed to wake up, be yanked out of sleep by a loud alarm clock, get in a car, fight traffic, and work endless hours.  It is important that we make a living, that we have a roof over our heads, and food on the table, and if you have children, then you probably feel you have no choice.  But you do have a choice.  We all have a choice.

 

I decided to cut my hours, IN HALF.  I decided to enjoy my life.  I decided to put some coinage into my health and relationships.  I made a choice to start doing things that I was really passionate in, like playing more music and creating a blog post.  To start studying and go back to school.   I decided that resting when I was tired, was important, not a waste of time.  I started investing in meditation, yoga and self-hypnosis.  I started getting rid of material STUFF that was cluttering up my life, and the emptier my place became, the more peace I begin to feel.

 

I stopped living America’s dream, and started living my own dream.

 

Life is short, why wait to retire to live a relaxing/productive life?  I realized I am more productive when I am relaxed, not rushing.

 

What I have done has helped me, I bet it will help you too…

 

Have a great day.

 

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

Therapists, not politicians, should run government

politicians - Therapists, not politicians, should run government

I wish therapist and counselors were politicians, instead of politicians.  The quest for power has always attracted the worst kinds of people, or at least has brought out the traits that have the capacity to cause a lot of damage to the people they are governing.  There are a couple of things I have noticed that seems to be a commonality amongst politicians:

 

  1. Cognitive dissonance.  This phenomenon is something that effects not just politicians but all of us.  According to the online dictionary, it is, “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.”  What this means, is that once a decision is made, you stick to it, because you want to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of perhaps you made the wrong choice.  It is one reason why people will stay in a relationship that is toxic, way past the due date, because admitting that your thoughts could have been wrong, is a very uncomfortable idea indeed.   Cognitive dissonance in politics, has the potential to destroy us all.  For example, many politicians do not believe global warming is real, or at least it is not created by humans.  Therefore, they will block policies to try to reduce carbon emissions.  Admitting they are wrong, would be too painful, especially if the ego is enlarged in that certain individual.  So, someone who avoids cognitive dissonance with vigor, is going to only accept evidence of theories that only accept their viewpoint, and nothing else.  So you can present the best evidence to this person, and their mind will block it, they will only accept it if it conforms to their ideology.

A therapists job, is to keep an open mind, and accept the ideas of others.  If a therapist is presented with a viewpoint that was different then their own, they would listen to the evidence, and not reject the idea because they are aware of cognitive dissonance.

 

  1. The law of reciprocation. This one is simple, and dangerous.  The corporations (or people) who give me the most money, are the people I work for.  We are under the myth that government works for the people, it works for whoever put them into power.  So if the “grandma cookie corporation” put me into office, I will forever be working for the “grandma cookie corporation.   The downside of this of course, is that, what is usually good for the corporation, is not good for you or I.  Because of the law of reciprocation, these companies can invest millions into a politician, and get billions back in returns.  Not a bad investment.  The only problem is, it has the potential to destroy the environment, and a good living wage for anyone working for grandma, and tons of other things.  Not even a therapist is immune to this, nobody is.  If we were to get rid of this phenomenon, we would have to change the laws of our country, where people are not allowed to give unlimited donations in secret.  The larger the sums of donations given, the larger the law.

 

  1. Group think.  According to the online dictionary it is, “the practice of thinking or making decisions as a group in a way that discourages creativity or individual responsibility.”  In a nutshell, you are going to vote on things, that your party votes on, no matter how terrible the bill may be.  You do not want to go against your party.  Going against the group, could be political suicide.  Unfortunately, that is the system we are in.  I could write a thousand-page book on the subject of group think, it is the reason why the two-party system we have is split.  Republicans will vote unanimously for one thing, while every democrat will vote against it.  It is sad to watch, it is pathetic and it is one of the cogs that is delaying true creativity and change.

 

A therapist or counselor would encourage creativity, would get out of the realm of  group think.   Ideas would be presented, and talked about.  These dangerous games that are being played in politics, the rules they create, that are hurting so many of us, it is something that has got to stop.  The only way it is going to stop is if people start educating themselves on the people who are representing them.  To look beyond the nefarious rhetoric, and to see who the individual really is.  The irony of the politician is, they need your vote, so they are not going to tell you the truth.  If they are going to work for the rich, they are not going to tell you that, it is up to us to get to the truth.  We must work hard at not  only changing the politicians, but the way the system is ran as well.  Things get passed, under the radar, all the time, and it is the little things that can sink the boat.

Anyway, those are my thoughts of the day.  Please respond! Have a wonderful existence.

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

How to stop worrying, for good

sad eyes - How to stop worrying, for good

I have been at the hands of worry, anxiety, and negative thoughts for years.  I used to let them run my life, take away the moment.  I could feel this “slush” of toxic emotion coursing through my body, like a slow acid, burning away my nervous system.  I let this happen because I was under a false belief, I believed that worrying somehow helped solve my problems.  Worrying, itself, is a wasted emotion, it has never solved anything, and it never will.  Worrying is not action, anxiety is not action, it is just negative emotions that can cause terrible health consequences later in life.

I am not saying not to take action when things happen.  It is ok to listen to your body, and your thoughts if something is not right.  My point is though, is once you have identified what is not right, take action, and then let the negative feelings go.  So here is the solution.  It is simple, and it may take some time to work.  But just like anything in life, practice makes perfect.   Let yourself think about what is worrying you, at a timed interval.  So if I choose to worry about something, I will tell myself, “OK, tonight, at five p.m. I will let myself worry about this particular situation for 15 minutes.”  I will set a timer, and let myself think about the situation.  During that time, I will journal and come up with an action plan for change.  Once the timer goes off, and I have my action plan, it is time to stop worrying.

This is one of many tools I use to help myself.  It has been proven to be very effective for me, and I am sure it will be for you as well.  I understand though, how insidious anxiety can be, even with hundreds of tools at your disposal, anxiety can and probably will rear its nasty head.  Worrying and anxiety is like it’s own entity, that is ready to fight back doubly hard, if it feels it’s existence is threatened.

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

Please respond to my post if you have any ideas yourself! I hope you have a wonderful day

 

 

 

Save your relationship and career

BOSS - Save your relationship and careerSomeone once said, “never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.”  Those type of words can really get someone in trouble.

Communication is one of those things, that is more of an art, then just a simple action.  Before I communicate something big, like telling my boss off, I realized I need to start asking myself a couple of questions first.  First, before I go on this endeavor, am I in the right state of mind?  Because if the answer is no, then proceeding on my quest for office place justice, might not be the smartest move.

Life can drastically feel different if you have had a bad night’s sleep, have not gotten proper nutrition (this includes proper hydration) and have not had a little bit of exercise.  Life really is about the essentials, but it is the essentials we forgot about the most.
The problem about saying something to someone, is that once it is said, it can never be unsaid.  And once said, it can plant the seeds destruction in your job or relationship.  The wrong words said, can cause tremendous heartache, and sometimes violence, (hence, saying something stupid to someone stupid.)

So, the first step is recognizing that your mind is not functioning at full capacity.  The second step, is to bring your mind back to homeostasis.  Once your mind is back to homeostasis, it is time to take action.

I hope this article helps, please watch the video below for the simplistic version of what I have to say!