The end of Men

mitch

 

Mitch’s wife, Carol, left him for another man two years ago. His anger had long ago turned into sadness, and wonderment on why she left him. It was so abrupt, and when he realized there was nothing he could to convince her to stay, he sunk into a dark depression. He had gotten to the point where he did not even care if Carol did cheat on him, he just wanted her back, even though at times they argued, she was still his best friend.

The loneliness gnawed on Mitch’s bones, and he was tired of waking up by himself. Sometimes, after rising from a deep slumber, he would try to wrap his arms around her, only to feel the cold air from which she used to sleep. And the memories would begin to kill him.

Mitch would get mad at himself often, he should have done more with her. He remembered her wanting to go to couples counseling, and how he pretty much laughed it off. He would reminiscent on the times she annoyed him, and how he would snap at her to leave him alone. He would ask himself if he really needed to be so mean to her? Couldn’t he have just asked her more nicely that he wanted some time to himself after work?

He later understood all she wanted was a little affection, to feel needed and wanted.

It seemed that nobody wanted him any longer. In his desperation for companionship, he joined a local dating site. He put on an old picture of himself up and hoped for the best. He messaged all the women he could find between the ages of 35 and 75, (he just turned 68 himself, thought it would be wise to cast a large net.) Mitch thought for sure someone would respond, but no-one did. How did he ever become so undesirable? He had an ok job, sure, he let himself go a little bit, but he didn’t think he was heinous. One of his lady friends at the store he knew told him to get on the site. When he saw her a a couple days later, he asked her if she ever got dates from that site, she had the opposite problem he had, she had tons of men messaging her, they were just men she didn’t want. He laughed when he heard that, but deep down he was jealous, because at least she still felt wanted. He begin to understand why he was in the biggest demographic of men who committee suicide, deep down he knew, it had a lot to do with not feeling needed.

Mitch did not have a strong relationship with his children. One night, with a cold beer in his hand, he decided to call up his son Johnathan, Who he hadn’t talked to in years. With clammy hands he dialed the numbers, and got a voice on the other line. John sounded surprised when he heard him. They talked for about three awkward minutes, before John came up with an excuse that he had to go, and why shouldn’t he? Even though Mitch was his father, he became a stranger to him.

Mitch was tired of expending the energy in trying to find someone. It wasn’t like years ago when women depended on men for resources. He chuckled at himself, and pondered, what a terrible thing, being stuck with someone because you had no choice. He was happy Carol was able to leave him, I guess it would be terrible for someone to be with you because they had to. At the same time, he kinda wished it was like the old times, when she wouldn’t be able to leave him, because then at least he wouldn’t be alone. Mitch understood it was going to be hard for him to find a mate, if it was his personality alone that had to be the deciding factor. He wasn’t much of talker, and his belly hung over his waist from years of drinking. He speculated he was not much of catch. He had money, just not a lot of it. He had to face facts, finding someone may not be much of a possibility anymore. Sometimes daydreaming about his own death, was one of the things that got him through the day. Just tired of it. Tired of waking up alone, tired of cooking, doing the dishes, and laundry. Tired of going to work, and most of all he was tired of feeling unwanted. He would almost do anything to have someone smile at him, or ask him out for coffee, just a small token of anything.

Sam, the owner of “Hot Mug” coffee place, noticed that Mitch hadn’t come by in a long time. He asked his wife what happened to him, at first she did not know who he was talking about. Then she remembered, “Oh you mean that fella who always whore the same red and black checkered flannel shirt, who sat in the back corner? Yeah, I think he killed himself some time back. A strange fella, always used to come in here and stare at the other people, he was always by himself. He gave me and Shirley the creeps. He never said anything, just stared.”
Sam just listened to his wife speak, and then said, “yeah, sounds creepy.”
Sam had to excuse himself, because he felt strong emotion welling up in his chest and neck. He went outside in the back and felt the sunshine on his face. Tears begin to well up in his eyes, because he couldn’t even imagine how much that man must have been suffering to take his own life. But the worst part was the guilt. He remembered when Mitch asked him to go fishing, probably a couple weeks before he ended his life. Sam told him no, because he just felt uncomfortable around him. Sam realized that Mitch wasn’t creepy, he was just misunderstand, and alone. Maybe if he just took the time to talk to him, made him feel not so alone, Mitch would still be here today.
Men, we need to change, we need to be able to talk to each other and learn to communicate. Isolation will destroy you. In my studies, and teachings, this is the common thread I have witnessed.

Please respond back, I would love to hear from you. Join me on Twitter 

The choice of happiness

old-man

There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path.

Buddha quote

 

It is hard to be happy. Sometimes I wonder if it is even a choice for some people. For some people, happiness is probably something that comes every once in a long while, like a harvest moon or a four leafed clover. I have talked to people who cannot even remember the last time they felt good, safe or felt things were going to be okay. Some people live out this life like it is a prison sentence, a lot of people are suffering alone, keeping their demons to themselves.   Some people are conditioned to keep their pain quiet, and their reasons are many.

I have a friend named Jake (not his real name), and he is probably one of the loneliest souls I ever met. He goes to work, and then comes home to watch television alone. He is going on 40 and has never had a real relationship, he will occasionally have a small fling, but rarely anything that lasts longer than a couple weeks. When he does muster the energy, he would go out to the bars and look for people to talk too, but then he would quickly run out of energy, and retreat home. When I asked him why he does not go out more, he tells me he is tired of being rejected.

So I am sure what ails him is more than just a negative attitude, but a complex web of genetics, chemical imbalances, socioeconomic factors and other things. He has the same attitude when it comes to getting help, he will begin the process, but then quickly run out of energy and optimism.   Or he will get help from the wrong people, making the situation even worse, causing him more anger and sadness, pushing him down further then he was before. So he then retreats into the dark recesses of his mind, going deeper into the void of his life, losing whatever inertia he had.

So I asked him what would make him happy, he shrugged his shoulders and then told me that if he had a girlfriend who loved him, and that he loved back. I then asked him, even if he was able to achieve that, would that truly bring him happiness? He gloomily looked at me and said, “dude, I really don’t know.”   So I then asked him, what if you just chose to be happy? He looked at me like I was crazy, and I guess I don’t blame him, because it seems we are always looking for outside circumstances or things to make us happy. But what if we just chose to be happy in the moment, no matter what the moment was?

My friend of course needed help to see that it was a choice. That is what my main goal is to do with this website. To have people receive help right on the spot, through certified counselors either it be one on one, or through a group chat. It is through support we get through pain. It is knowing that we are not alone, that gets us over the hump.   This though, is a blog for another day, I will be writing about it soon.

I am guilty of course of not choosing to be happy in the moment. I think that once I get that car, or that job, or have the respect I always wanted from the community, then happiness and satisfaction will inevitably be mine. I then realized though, this was a fallacy in my thinking, because once I achieved one thing, something else would pop up, something that I felt I needed, and I soon understood that the process would never end. I would always be looking to the future for my happiness, but the problem with the future is that it is always in the future, and I would forever only be in the present. So, why not just choose to be happy now? To not let the outside world influence my decision, just to say, hey, I choose to be happy, and then let myself be happy.   It really is a choice, we have just been conditioned not to think that way. If we were satisfied with just happiness, the capitalistic society would crash, because we would stop buying things we didn’t need.

I really would like to hear what you think, write back and tell me your thoughts.

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Into the flames of madness

pessimism

“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”

― George Bernard Shaw

I have been down that dark road, feeling everyone was as nasty as me. I was sending off the vibration deep within my chakra, sending it through the air and polluting the world with my negativity. The world will frown with you if you let it. It is full of negativity, and eventually that vibration will destroy you. I can see the people who are negative with my naked eyes, because they wear it on their face. They say it in their speech. It is not hard to spot negativity. Often, you can feel it’s presence, before you can even see it. Negativity attracts negativity, bad thoughts attract bad thoughts, and anger attracts anger. A negative idea, from one person, can blossom into a full blown war between two nations, if it is not stopped. Like a wild fire with a strong wind behind it, and we are the forest to be consumed in the flames of madness.

The good news, is that positive vibrations work the same way. Peace creates peace, and love begets love. The first smile might be difficult, but then the second smile comes a lot easier, and before you known it, you can’t stop smiling. You may be consumed in the flames of negativity, but your goodness, can be the fresh water that cools the fire, and eventually brings the evergreens back. Every war has an end, every negative has a positive, and you can turn your pessimism to optimism. Everything bad has a good. It is the balance of life. You cannot have the bad without the good.

Someone once told me that no matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse. I like to think, it can always get better. Negativity is a life force, just like us. And no matter what happens in this life, one day, the negativity will stop, one way or another. It has to, nothing lives forever.

Everything dies, but in it’s place something else is born. So, kill your negativity, and give birth to hope. It is easier then you think. Just observing the fact that you are negative, giving it awareness, is the first step in stopping it. The second step is feeling it fully in your body, being with it, because that will sap it of its energy. It will flicker out, quickly, and something good will take its place.

Without understanding it is so strong in you, the negativity, which should only last 90 seconds, can be with you for the entirety of your life. Drawing energy from your body, and digging it’s roots deep inside.

Look at it, and give it the love it deserves.

Write back, I want to learn from you!

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Unjustified

ian

This post is dedicated to Ian and Julie Hartley, I am sorry for what has happened.

“In my opinion, our health care system has failed when a doctor fails to treat an illness that is treatable.” 

― Kevin Alan Lee

I don’t know what was going through Ian Hartley’s mind when he jumped off the Otto bridge near Charlotte Michigan, but I do know he must have been suffering tremendously. His mother, Julie, a week prior, tried to save his life by taking him to the experts. The experts unfortunately, in this year of 2016, denied him help because they did not take her type of insurance. Ian Hartley was only 16 years old, and the CMH of Michigan chose not to help him.

What I typed above is absolutely true, it is in the Sunday paper of the Lansing State Journal. Written on 9-18-2016. This story affects me greatly, it shows how our society has failed Ian and his family. It shows how the medical community cares more about insurance procedures, then it does about life. I cannot even imagine the pain, anger and suffering his family feels, and what makes it worse is that they went for help. They went to the people who were suppose to save him.

I don’t believe the people who work in CHM are cold and calloused. The problem is the spider web of red tape that is put up from governmental regulations, insurance companies, profit incentives, and a ton of other things that makes this the most frustrating medical system that civilization has ever created.

Julie Hartley’s child died because of this broken system, he should have been an easy save. Whatever was going on, someone could have talked to him, gave him what he needed, pointed him in the right direction. Ian is gone, forever, so what can we do to stop this insanity?

I look at this story as a sign, a sign that we as a people need to stand up to this unjust bureaucracy, and say enough. Let the good people who are educated on therapy, get to the people who need them. Ian never got passed the gate.

Let me see if I can illustrate how terrible Ian was failed, and the outrageousness of the system.

CMH communicated to Ian that he was not worthy of help. Maybe they did not say that outright, but that is the message that was sent to him and his family. I know that feeling very well, because CMH has denied me in the past as well. I was in a state of disbelief and anger, because I felt society did not deem me worthy of life. The System has a way of making you feel that they don’t care about your welfare.

His mother went for help, and CMH made the problem worse. The only therapy Ian got was a big fat juicy no from the friendly gatekeepers of CMH. The people that could have helped him were probably less than 20 yards away from him at that time, and they told him no.

So, let us change the system. Let us get together and come up with solutions to stop this madness.

I am in the process of creating a website where we have certified counselors, and therapist who are online 24/7. So if you or a loved one needs help, they get help, on the spot, for free.

I am sorry the system failed you so terribly Ian, good bye.

 

Please join me and subscribe, let’s make this website, our website. 

You can also join me on Twitter or YouTube

You can get the full story on what happened, by clicking on Ian’s picture above.

We are going to help you fight this fight Julie

 

Instant happiness

dancing

Four simple things to instantly make you happy….

  1. Take long deep breaths. In through the nose, hold for five seconds, slowly out the mouth. This little action will cause oxygen to go to your brain, increased oxygen to the brain will calm you down.

2. Stretch your muscles the same time you breathe, doesn’t really matter what group of muscles you choose. whether it be your arms, legs or abdomen. The point of this little action is to release acid from your body. Our muscles naturally get tense under stress, and stretching them will relax them, and thus you as well.

3. Sing a song when you are done breathing. The point of this is that the part of the mind that is deals with stress, will be put down and moved to the part of the mind that deals with singing. You really can’t be stressed and sing at the same time. It will make you feel wonderful.

4. Start dancing. And I don’t care if you are alone, or in public. Dancing is phenomenal when it comes to reducing stress. It does not matter what people think anyway, and chances are, they will actually respect you for it. Dancing is a natural expression of our bodies. Let your body loose, let it move, it will move the way it needs to move to release the negative energy.

5. If you have music, put it on. You can dance and sing without music of course, but if you have it, why not use it. Plus music changes our stressed brain waves, into more productive brain waves.

I know today’s post was simple and sweet, just the way I like it.

Please, list some more ideas so I can learn from you! Have a wonderful day and don’t forget to subscribe, or join me on Twitter or Facebook

Western medicine

yoga

 

The doctor of the future will give no medication, but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, diet and in the cause and prevention of disease. ~

 

I don’t think I can put my finger exactly on when remission occurred, because from that moment on, I left Western medicine and never looked back. I practiced every day for ten to twelve hours a day – spiritual studies, meditation, pranayama, yoga postures, Ayurvedic studies, deep, deep, powerful cleansings and fasting.

 

The problem with the western medical system today, is that it treats our body like a common machine, when in fact it is so much more. They might as well call our doctors body mechanics. “Hmmm, let me look under the hood here, yep, looks like I need to replace your liver and heart. Your pancreas is going to need some more insulin oil and your exhaust system is going to have to have an overhaul. Let me prescribe you a couple hundred quick fix pills, and take your first born and house as payment. If your body vehicle turns out to be totaled, would you like to sell the parts to our shop? Will give you twenty dollars off your one hundred million dollar bill.”

It is a system that causes mass frustration. It ignores the entire realm of spirituality, and a lot of common sense.

My experiences with doctors have not always been the best. They look at my chart, and then prescribe pills, with very minimal communication. If my cholesterol was high, it was a quick fix pill, not a discussion on exercise or better eating. If I go to the doctor for depression, again, a quick pill to take care of the anxiety. No discussion on other factors that might be going on. My body is treated like a car, nothing more, just a machine that will inevitably wear out and die. No wonder people are feeling terrible, if that is what they believe they are.

It is a mystery to me, how the western medical society became what it is.   Hospitals have turned into giant body shops, where people go in, get their repairs, and then go out.  They don’t focus on prevention, or what truly caused the disease in the first place.

There is a huge variety of amazing techniques that have existed for thousands of years, and have healed millions of people, and it is not being utilized in the United States.   For example, the one thing that has helped me more than any pill is meditation. And I have never been prescribed meditation.

My point is, western medicine ignores the spiritual side of us, which is a real thing. Being (spirituality) is not just an imaginary thing that makes us feel better. It is the life energy that sustains us, connects us with the universe. And if the flow of energy in our body is broken, because of worry, or fear, or chronic anxiety, then health problems will ensue.

There are many ways to free up the energy in our body. It is unfortunate though, that many people do not understand this part of existence, and how important it is.

Things are beginning to change though. For example, I have heard that some doctors are actually beginning to subscribe meditation to their patients, just because of the amazing empirical evidence of how much it helps the body. Meditation has proven better in lowering blood pressure than medications.

My point is, we must take it upon ourselves to educate ourselves on being. We must understand that doctors are not gods, and that they are following a very narrow theoretical approach to medicine, and healing. We must understand that the western medical society is influenced hugely by the pharmaceutical corporations, and lawyers. With that in mind, we must understand, their diagnosis, and treatment may not be the best. It is important to keep an open mind. Bring an advocate with you when you get checked out, and ask plenty of questions. Do research into other forms of treatment, look at all the things in your life, from your diet, your environment, too your personal relationships. You must trust in yourself, and understand that you know what is best for you. You are an expert on yourself, and must learn to trust your body and yourself.

I want to learn from you, please join me on Twitter or YouTube, and don’t forget to subscribe! Have a wonderful day

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Change

earth

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma GandhiIt

is amazing to me how fast life can change. I think of life like looking at a clock, you don’t see the hour hand move, if you just stare at it, but go away for a little bit and come back, and you notice the change. When I live my life day to day, it does’t seem like there is a lot of change, but when I step back and look, just looking back a year, I can see a tremendous difference. I have had friends who were alive a year ago, and now are dead, I live in a new place in a new town. I have started a masters program, I am working on a website, and a new job. Everything in my life is different.

I sometimes wished things would slow down a bit, just so I could process everything that has happened. Unfortunately, that is impossible. It frustrates me that change is going to happen, no matter what, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes devastating. And when I think about it, it is the process of the evolving universe.

Our planet at one time was a giant ball of fire, and at another a giant ball of ice. It has gone through four mass extinctions, and it will again. Even our sun, has gone through massive changes, in fact it is on the last part of it’s cycle, before it explodes then implodes, it may even turn into a black hole. Even our own bodies go through massive changes, in fact every four years we are a completely new person, with all different cells. So, in retrospect, we are constantly always dying, and always being reborn.

But change has to happen. It has to, there is no choice. Things have got to move. What would happen if the earth stopped rotating? What would happen if our cells stopped dying and reproducing?

So, I can look at all this change as either good news or bad news. It is all perspective. If we cannot stop change, then why fight it? I choose to go with it, and accept it, and change the things I can and the rest just let go. For example, I cannot change the way people think, but I can decide to change the way I do. I cannot change the body I am in, but I can decide to change what I eat to feel healthy. Trying to change other people, it is futile, they have got to want to change. It is amazing to me how often I see people trying to change others, and the anger they have when it does not happen. I am guilty of that as well.

 

The really good news is, is that if things change so rapidly, and your life is unsatisfactory, just wait, things will get better again.  They have too, nothing ever stays the same.  And it really is amazing what can happen if you decide to try to make the inevitable change for the better.

So, if we are going to be changing, let us change together. I want to hear your opinions on this subject so I can learn from you.

Have a wonderful day

 

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I don’t understand

lone

 

There have always been things I did not understand about our culture. We have more people then ever, yet we are lonelier then ever. How did that happen? Why do we have such separation between us and our neighbors? When I was a child, we used to have huge neighborhood picnics, everyone talked about it, and looked forward to it. We had the firetrucks come, and a clown came to paint our faces. Everyone brought food, and had a fabulous time. I found out, that some years back, the neighborhood picnic had been canceled, because nobody was attending anymore. There are just as many people in the neighborhood, it’s just, nobody has time. What are they filling their time with? I don’t understand.

The second thing I have never understood, is why getting sick is the number one reason people end up in bankruptcy. How as a nation, we can accept that, speaks volumes to me. It is frightening, we act like sickness or serious injury is something someone bought, like a boat, so they should be responsible for the bills. How did it come to this? Thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars for help? I have no problem paying a little extra if my neighbor gets sick, because I would want him to help me if I ever got sick. We are social creatures, and going bankrupt while hurt, is no different then kicking someone when they are down. I know people, deep down, care for each other, I just don’t know how this system turned so cold.

Which brings me to the third thing I don’t understand. As a nation, the majority of us want universal health care, but for some reason, it is not passed. How our are leaders not doing what the majority of people want? The majority of people also don’t want college to be so ridiculously expensive, because we know an educated nation is important, yet somehow, college prices rise year after year after year. What is going on? How is the majority ignored? Why do millions of dollars have a louder voice then the millions of people?

Which brings me to point number four, why is it we have such poor choices for our leaders? We have the choice of Clinton again, or a narcissistic billionaire. Why do we make it such an impossible thing for a well educated middle class person to have a chance of being president, or anyone for that matter? How did it come to this? Why as a nation do we put up with it? I don’t understand.
I do understand that deep down people are good, and that the human race has evolved. But I would love desperately for someone to help me answer these questions, because I am deeply curious for answers.
Please respond, I want to learn from you. Have wonderful day!
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The bear

bear

The Bear….

He wanted to mate, but lost the fight

Would have to be alone tonight

Blood dripped from his wounds, so deep

A low bellow of pain from his muzzle would seep

He saw the skies turning cold and dark

As he cleaned his back on the rough tree bark

The tree shook with his grizzly bear weight

Although his body skinny and the year late

Hibernation was coming quick

He had to sit down so wounds he could lick

 

The moon shining bright

Casting shadows in the black night

Breathing heavy his eyes would close

Feeling the cold night numb his nose

 

Body feeling heavy in the morning

Woken up by his own painful snoring

Snow covered his body from head to toe

He knew if he was to live he had to go

Never felt so weak before

Had never been so sore

Tummy moaning with a low grumble

He tried to get up, only to stumble

He decided to stay by the tree

Decided rest it what he would need

 

Before his eyes closed forever he saw his brother

And when his eyes closed he felt the warmth of his mother

And a smile creeped across his face

And decided he never wanted to leave this place…..

 

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Work

working

Stacey would go into work around six in the morning, and it was not unusual for her to stay till eight at night. She was a dedicated worker, barely making more then minimum wage. I found out that her promotion to manager, only gave her a one dollar and ten cent raise, with about three thousand new responsibilities. I could never understand why she worked so hard for this company, the owner of the company would never know she even existed, and moving up to something substantial was not going to happen. I would once in awhile talk to her about the job, trying to figure out if she truly loved working there, she would tell me about all the bills she had to pay, and that she really didn’t have a choice.

Stacey had three children from three different men, and none of them paid child support. I asked her why she didn’t collect money from them, and she told me that the three of them together couldn’t afford a pot to piss in. I left the conversation at that. I would eventually find out that Stacy followed the footsteps of her mother. Stacey never knew her real father, only the string of men her mother brought home in hopes of finding real love, or attention. I could see the hurt behind her eyes, I guess some of them were abusive. I could tell her self-esteem never had a chance, and that for her circumstances, she was doing well in life.

Sometimes I forget where people come from, and how much pain they endured. I have things that Stacey never had, a strong support system from my parents, and resources. After hearing Stacey’s story, it made me angry. I wish that there was a place where she could go, a place that would grant her a strong support system. A place where if people are hurting, the bills would be put on a freeze, and we got the love and help we needed to rebuild our lives.

Of course, the bills would never freeze in the current economic sink or swim structure our society built.

I am happy I listened to her story, she may not know it, but she is one of my personal hero’s, because of what she went through and the sacrifices she made for her daughters. She is working hard because she doesn’t want them to go down the same path she did. She decided to stay single after her last child was born, because she didn’t want to take a chance of them being abused.

Her oldest daughter is graduating high school, and is applying to the University of Michigan. She has a good chance of getting in, she has good grades and plays varsity volleyball. I see the sparkle in her eyes when she talks about her kids, I can tell they are what run through her mind when she is working her fourteen hour days at the job.

I am happy I got to know her, and that I could listen to her story. It gave me a new appreciation for my life.

When I do see her, I will bring up her children, because I like seeing her happy. And when you work with happy people, it makes the day so much better.

Thank you for reading, please respond so I can learn from you!

 

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