Let’s find out who you are….

greed - Let's find out who you are....

 

Take these learning and personality tests, to figure out who you are!

These are from my school, I hope you enjoy

Figure out your personality…… http://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/

What learning style are you?……http://personal.psu.edu/bxb11/LSI/LSI.htm

What are your interests?……http://www.openop.com/career_search.asp

Use these simple assessments to help you travel on the right path! Have a wonderful day

When is enough, enough?

enough - When is enough, enough?

 

For some people it is never enough, they have an insatiable appetite and must have it all.  The mind frame for many, when it comes to success, is how much one has, not who one is.  I wonder how such a mind frame came to be, and I observe the internal and external devastation such a mind-frame caused.

 

Unlimited appetites, with limited resources.  Our society loves putting the success (and failures) of others in our face.  I go onto the internet, and articles automatically pop up, telling me about the nicest mansions in the world, or the deals certain athletes or celebrities have made.  Deals with money amounts so high, even with my intense imagination, could I envision having so much dough.  It makes me wonder, are they trying to make me feel insecure, or inadequate?  If I do fall for the ‘American Dream’ and I keep seeing articles like that, it is instant disappointment in myself, because of course I’m going to compare myself, it is human nature.

And if all they do is compare us to people with wealth of such magnitude, to people with the resources of small country, then undoubtedly, we are not going to feel good.

I cannot help but imagine, if people were content with what they had, instead of trying to ‘have it all’ like greedy little squirrels, society would be much better.  More resources for all, and more peace, both outwardly and within for ourselves.  The problem with greed (and when I talk about greed, I am talking about those who horde resource, not those who use their reserve for good.) is that it is never enough.  Just like an addiction, certain people will never be satisfied, and would sell their own mother for more, more, more.

I can write forever about the psychology of greed, and what it has done to our world, but for now, I am just going to write about being appreciative for what we have.  It really is just a mind frame, in how we look at things.  I believe personal growth, and wanting a better life is of the up-most importance.  But we have to ask ourselves, why do we want more?  Why do I want such wealth?  What am I going to do with my wealth?

I used to never be satisfied with what I had, once I got something I wanted, I wanted more. Wanting more is looking into the future, just that feeling of ‘wanting’ created anxiety.  I instead started looking at the present moment, and would ask myself what do I have right now that I am appreciative of?  Do I have food? Shelter?  People who love me?  As soon as I started thinking about those things, I would immediately start feeling better.

What I learned the hard way is that fear and anxiety live in the future and past, peace lives in the present.  Appreciation lives in the now.

I hope you have a wonderful day, please subscribe and write back, I would enjoy hearing your thoughts!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you working a nightmare job?

nightmare - Are you working a nightmare job?

Nightmare job….

I once worked a job where (I felt) the stress was tremendous, with little flexibility amongst my managers, and poor training.  I was sad, because I went to school for the job I held, and worked hard.  I was a general ultrasound technician.  I could scan anything from the head to the toes, with a specialty in abdominal.  I trained in a hospital, out in Grand-Rapids.  I felt I had the job down, until I started working at other hospitals.  The hospitals I worked at, did not work with same machines that I trained on, and had different protocols for different procedures.  I was frustrated with myself, because I saw other people who worked there, and they seemed to be doing a good, I begin to question my abilities. I began to question myself.

I would wake up, dreading having to go into work in the morning.  I did not want to feel the pressure of the job.  My body physically hurt from the stress.  I had to stop the job because my coping mechanisms were failing, and the stress was beginning to eat me alive.  I could actually feel the pressure consuming my body.

It still makes me sad to this day, thinking about it.  I wish I was a little smarter about the situation, and chosen more wisely.  The pain taught me a lesson though.  I learned to be more assertive, and to take my time when deciding to do a career.  I learned to let go of the past (mostly) and become solution focused.

I always wondered though, when looking into the earlier, why did I not try to answer the questions about what I really wanted.  Why was I working jobs that did not satisfy me internally or externally?

I do not remember ever being counseled in high school, or college for helping  decide with a career choice.  I am sure the opportunities were present, I feel perhaps my current mind frame was not.  I had a certain stubbornness about me, that when I did choose a career, I just went full steam ahead.  I always felt I was under a time crunch, and the illusion of a time crunch had taken a toll.  I felt I could not take the break I needed to find out exactly what I wanted to do.  Even when I write this, I can see the colossal inaccuracies in my way of thinking.  I would have saved years of time, if I just would have answered the basic question of “who I was.”

After my frustration had hit a peak, I did decide to find out who I was.  It was through the book Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins; did I find out exactly what I wanted to do.   The chapter was called Limitation disengage and it asked the questions I needed to answer.  For example, what were my beliefs and values?  Through hours of journaling, and other exercises, I found out who I was and what I wanted.  Most importantly, I found out how I wanted to serve society.

I dare you to read the chapter in the book, and to do the exercises.  It was one of the largest eye-openers in my life.  Just click on the link provided, and it will take you right there.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The illusion of reality

stein - The illusion of reality

 

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”

 

Albert Einstein

 

We are what we think, we are what we eat, and we become who we hang around with.  I learned these lessons the hard way.  I sometimes have to question my own intelligence, I remember the days I watched hours of news, and then wondered why I suffered anxiety attacks.  I reminisce about the times I would eat pop-tarts for breakfast, and then questioned why I got so depressed.  I remember gossiping with my room-mate about other people, and then marveled how easy my brain could find the bad in anybody.  I was creating a miserable existence for myself.

 

I truly believe that our minds and bodies vibrate certain frequencies, just like a tuning fork or musical instrument.  And if I am vibrating negativity, then negativity will come to me, like a mouse coming to cheese.  I always knew our minds were powerful, but I never quite grasped the spectacle of how powerful it is.  This is true, most of the time the medications you are taking for your body do not work, but they do work because of your belief. 

 

So, I am going to make you happier, then you ever thought was possible, just through this one simple step:  All I want you to do, is say to yourself over and over again, for an entire day, “I am happy, and good things are coming to me.”  And I also want you to say it out-loud multiple times.  The power of belief, comes through repetition.  It really is that simple.  You say something enough, you begin to believe it, that is why companies sink millions into commercials, it is the power of repetition.  So, whatever you want in life, just say it, like it is already here.

 

Reality truly is a delusion, it is only the hypnotic spell we put ourselves under.  So, why not put yourself under the spell of happiness and success, instead of depression and sorrow.

 

I will be writing more about how to create your own reality through the week.  I hope you have a wonderful day, and please respond! I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

 

 

Going uphill

uphill - Going uphill

 

Life is hard, there is not doubt about it.  If someone does not have the right tools, it is next to impossible to get out of anxiety or depression. Many people out there live in constant psychological or physical pain.  Even being a LifeCoach, and counselor, my pessimism had a way of showing through.  It is a constant fight, to guard your body against negativity, and to instead fill your mind with goodness.  Rocky once said, “Ain’t nobody going to hit as hard as life. It will bring you down to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it.”

I am envious of those, who have adopted an optimistic mind set.  People who can joke around, and see the good in things, when life has gone rotten.  I tell myself, if I was going through what they were, I probably wouldn’t stick around to find out how things have ended.  It is though, of course, those thoughts right there, that destroy me before I even had a chance.  My negative thinking has become so powerful, it goes through my mind like a train, without any resistance or questioning.  It is not just the thoughts, the things I have said to myself that hurts, it is also the deep images that cut my soul like a knife.

I learned, through my hypnosis training, that the subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and fantasy.  So if you imagine something, it takes it as truth.  If you tell it something, it takes it as truth.

We have got to be careful then, what we think.  Even though it takes a tremendous amount of energy. I have become much more cautious in what I think, and say to myself.  I have to.  The consequences are to large.  I do want to live, I don’t want to live a life in pain.  I do not want to invite disease into my body, because my negative thoughts brought down my system.  It is the reason I emerged myself into the study of “help.”  It was to help other people, but primarily it was to save myself.

I am here to say though, I understand the pain of trying.  I understand the hardships.  I know that trying to be happy, or changing a mindset can be like trudging through mud, uphill.  But we have to try, we have to succeed.  Even if you just replace one thought, just one with a happy thought during the day, you are on your way to change.  You are on your way to a brighter future.  But again, I understand.  I have thrown many self-help books across the room in frustration.  There were times I have given up all together.  But that piece in me, that piece who wants to live, won’t let me quit for good.  And it will grow, if you just give it a chance.  Those things in those books do work, but it takes time, and tremendous patience.

I hope you have a wonderful day

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

 

 

How to save yourself

 

panic - How to save yourselfSometimes I do not know I am having an anxiety melt down, until I am in the middle of the storm.  It usually comes after I have had a rough couple of days.  The first symptom is the hate that creeps in, like an acid eating away at my good vibes, first slow, and then fast.  When I try to throw good thoughts at the negativity, the pessimism eats it up like a pack of piranhas.  Panic begins to set in, because the anger is strong, and I know that I am not in the right mind.

This particular anxiety meltdown happened when I was out, looking for some new running shoes. I tell the store clerk at Play Makers, thank you for the help, and I exit quickly.  The day is sweltering hot, and sticky, and it adds to the chemical imbalance already swirling in my mind and body.  I go to some shade, and draw in deep breaths.  I understand that the attack is not going to go away anytime soon.

 

I have written contingency plans, for such occasions.  In the past, when the anger/depression storms would come, I did not have enough sense to get myself help.  I would stay at work, and trust the emotions were legitimate.  Those were the times that I would lose my job, because I would brilliantly confront my boss or co-workers.  Or lose relationships, because the anger I felt had to be passed on.  I could not let those around me be happy, when I was so miserable.  It is what psychologists call “transference.” I had to keep the storm from radiating to others.

 

The contingency plan, that I have prepared, has saved me from myself multiple times over.  While I was under the tree, outside of Play Makers, I pull out my paper.  It reads, “Mental Storm Emergency.”

  1. Get away from the situation
  2. Take deep breaths
  3. Do not make any big life decisions until the storm has passed. That includes calling up girlfriends, friends, or bosses
  4. Get home, if you can. Avoid highways and leave a big cushion of space between you and other drivers.  Do not engage any drivers in a negative way.  Keep breathing deep, and just get home.
  5. Once home, drink a large glass of water
  6. Eat some healthy food
  7. Get into bed, put on self-hypnosis recording, and close your eyes. Try to get some sleep
  8. If sleep is achieved, and the storm has settled, call up one of your friends on the list (people that I trust, whom I can talk to) if needed.
  9. Keep getting proper, sleep and nutrition and exercise (if needed) until the storm has succumb.

 

In the contingency plan, I also have a list of excuses to give to people, in case I need to leave a situation.  Unfortunately, in this day and age, a lot of people do not consider mental illness a real disease, especially depression.  If someone has a sore throat, they are good to go, but a serious depression, well you better stay at work buddy!

 

I suggest you make contingency plans for yourself, especially for times when you are having a really bad day.  It is next to impossible to think rationally, when things get emotional.  It is nice to have a list, already thought out, that you can follow.

I want you to be safe and happy.  Tell me what you think! I hope you  have a wonderful day

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

 

 

How to reprogram your mind

mind - How to reprogram your mind

The mind reminds me of an extremely powerful, complicated machine, without an instruction manual.  There are so many things I am learning about the brain, and I am just starting to understand how to control it.

 

For years, I had thoughts that would run through my mind, wild. Sometimes mundane thoughts, of what I need to buy at the grocery store, to terrible thoughts, about how my life “sucks.”  All in all, in the past, I did not enjoy the incredible instrument that was between my ears.  I would marvel at its capacity to do so many things, a modern phenomenon of evolution, and at the same time, tell myself, sometimes I wish I was just a squirrel, because then that way I wouldn’t know so much.  Higher intelligence can be a pain.  For example, I believe we are the only animal that knows one day we are going to get old, and die.  Our intelligence developed everything from nuclear weapons, to aerosol cans.  At the same time, we created music and a way of eating without having to hunt every time we got hungry.  We learned how to manipulate our own species through propaganda, and rhetoric.  I sometimes feel like people are all just trying to get one up over the other, like a bad game of chess.

 

Our mind is designed to be programmed.  It has to, for survival.  When we grow up, we observe those around us, and we take on their habits (program).  It is much like a duckling observing its mother, so it can learn how to be successful in the nature.  The problem is, if you do not consciously guard what goes into your mind, things will be encoded without your consent.

 

It is the reason why I let depression control the better part of my life.  Somewhere along the line, I let depression and anxiety become automatic.  It felt like a dark hypnotic spell.  I believed at the time, I did not have a choice in the matter.  How could I?  I fought so hard to get rid of the depression, and yet nothing seemed to change.

 

It was not until much later; did I learn how to properly change my mental software design.

 

I learned to guard things that entered my mind.  I stopped watching the news, because in our Country, the news advocates fear.  I stopped watching shows and movies that sponsored violence.  I stopped listening to radio shows that were heavily opinionated, and talked negatively about others.  I stopped gossiping and started avoiding adverse people.  I started listening to motivational speakers.  I decided to become my own best friend, and love myself.  I decided to hope that everyone have a happy life, and find satisfaction.

 

It takes time to change the programming of your mind.  But you can do it.  We are what we consume, it really is that simple.  Just flick the switch, start seeing the good in life, in yourself, in others, instead of the bad.  You begin doing that, you open up the spiritual channels within you, you open the roads of possibilities and miracles.

 

You become the vision that you always needed.

 

I hope you have a wonderful day, write back and tell me your thoughts!

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574

 

 

 

How to achieve greatness

love your body - How to achieve greatness

 

There are three things that keep us from fulfilling our dreams, according to Les Brown:

  1. Fear
  2. Lack of vision
  3. Low self-esteem

There is a reason why people who make their dreams come true are considered outliers.  The reason is, because it is actually an incredibly complicated situation.  Or at least, I used to think it was.  I used to feel that you have to have the exact combination of luck and hard-work.  I have seen a lot of people with powerful motivation, work their butt off, and go broke.  I have also seen people, who have put in very little work, and literally strike gold on the first try.  It is truly frustrating if one is inclined to think about it. I think to myself, why even try?  I feel people not only need the right kind of external help, like a powerful support system,  but also need powerful internal help, like good working neurons that can supply you with healthy motivation.  I felt that our body was hard-wired, we either had good genetics or bad, and that there was not much changing the situation.  I used to feel that luck just happened, it either happened or it did not, and that we had little control over the condition.  And if we were going to change the internal or external, it was going to take an act of god, or years and years of hard work and dedication in trying to convert myself into a dream making machine.

Well, that was my old school of thinking.  Les Brown said something that changed my paradigm, that changed the way I thought about success, and who truly achieves it.  It really boils down to how we talk to ourselves.  How we talk to ourselves is the root of happiness.  We literally have to become our own best-friends.

I used to be very negative towards my body, I also got upset with it when I got sick, or depressed. I Used to treat my body like an outdated machine that would inevitably break down.  I was mad to think that, with all that negative self-talk, I was going to somehow produce greatness. The body listens to you, what you tell it, is what it produces.  I guess it never really sank in until I felt the tightness in my chest increase, every time I said something damaging about myself.  So, one day, when I was not feeling good, I said to my body, you are my best friend and I love you, what can I do to make you feel better?  The tightness in my chest ceased, and instead I felt a warm feeling, the same kind of feeling I get when someone compliments me.  My body heard me in that moment, and I started feeling better almost immediately.

Today, I refuse to say anything bad about myself, about my mind, body or spirit.  I tell myself how beautiful I am, and how beautiful the world is.  I look for appreciation in everything, and see the goodness in people. It is not easy to do, my mind itches to go back to the old self, where I watched negative news and said terrible things about myself.  But I have to remember, it took me years of conditioning to create the negative self, so it is going to take a while to re-program my mind and spirit.

I want you to try it for a week.  I want you to talk to your body, like it is the most precious thing in the world.  Like it your best-friend who you cherish. Just try it for a week, and I guarantee you will feel better, feel wonderful.  If you love your body, your body will love you back. It really is the best employee you will ever have, and it wants to work with you, it wants you to be healthy and strong.  Your body and mind wants you to be successful and powerful.  Let it do its job.  Be your own best friend.

I hope you have a wonderful day, and please respond.  I would love to hear your thoughts.

How to attract anyone

hero - How to attract anyone

I decided I wanted to be a firefighter after I saw the movie “Backdraft.”  I wanted to be the hero, the man going through the flickering flames, burning bright orange, saving the damsel in distress.  I wanted to feel the wind blasting through my face, as I hung on to the pole on the back of the fire truck, speeding through the city streets towards danger.

Deep down, I always felt something was a little off about that dream.  I made becoming a firefighter a reality, but it was a far cry from what my imagination created.  Through the power of transference, a lot of people thought the same way I did when I occupied the job.  They believed I fought fires on a daily basis, and that my life was constantly on the line. I remember talking to these two women in the bar, and my partner who was trying to get one of the lady’s phone number, was taking advantage of the “hero firefighter” stereotype.  She was reluctant to give him his number, he said that it was alright, but it would be a shame if he never got to go out with such a beautiful woman, before the flames took his life.  She gave him his number.  I laughed when I heard that, because the reality was, a pizza delivery driver had a higher chance of dying on the job then a firefighter.  With fire suppression technology the way it is, structure fires were becoming less and less a reality.  I do not mean to bring down the job, when duty calls, any one of us would be willing to lay our lives down on the line.  Even though I laughed after he used that line, I felt rotten.  Why did he need to use such crap to try to find romance?  Was not just being himself enough?

It made me start thinking about all the people out there who used “gimmicks” in picking up other people.  One person I talked to, told me about this man on a dating site who brags about his cars, and money.  It made me sad, was he himself not enough?  What made me even more sad, was the fact that I am sure he did attract a lot of people because of his money and possessions.

I decided that I was not going to be that kind of person.  I was not going to use a “gimmick” in trying to find friends or romance.  I wanted people to like me for who I was, not for what I had or the job I did.  A job does not define me, having a nice car does not tell you anything about the person.  Yes, my friend did get that woman’s phone number, and they did have a couple of dates, but she eventually saw through him.   It has got to be exhausting trying to impress people all the time.  On a deeper level, I pondered what kind of self-esteem someone must have if they have to impress others with things, instead of believing in their own personality, their own substance.

I am not naïve though, I know the kind of world we live in, especially life in America where possessions and money are king.  Gimmicks do work.  And I cannot argue with someone who has found love using a gimmick.  Ron, who is now happily married, initially had to impress his wife using his truck.  I asked Nichole (his wife) if that was case, and she gave me a resounding “no”, she told me it was because he was sweet and funny.

I believe the truck gave Ron confidence.  I believe Nichole when she says the truck had nothing to do with it.  Even if the truck initially attracted Nichole to Ron, the awesomeness of the truck  would eventually wear off, and you better hope you got some substance behind you.

I am no longer a firefighter/paramedic.  After that job, I worked a lot of remedial jobs.  I was a bouncer, worked the floor in Menards, drove a van for disabled people, now I am working on getting a master in counseling, I realized though, it was not the job that found me friends or romance, it never was.  The job gives the person confidence, but you do not need a job for that.  You just need yourself, just need to tell yourself that you are awesome.  If you tell yourself that you are awesome enough, through the law of repetition you will feel awesome.  And once you feel awesome, you will radiate awesomeness.  So, drive a Lamborghini, or a bicycle, it does not matter.  PEOPLE WILL BE ATTRACTED TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO YOU.  You do not need a 250,000-dollar gimmick.

Try it for a week, just talk really nice to yourself, make your internal dialogue work for you, instead of against you.  I guarantee you will start noticing differences.  You will begin to feel better about yourself, and about the world in general.  People will be attracted to your essence, to you.

 

Please write back, and tell me what you think.  I hope you have a wonderful day.

Everyone needs some extra help, someone to listen to them, to help them achieve their goals and feel better.  I have been a life coach, and personal trainer for years and  am currently getting my masters/PhD in counseling and therapy.  Please feel free to call me if you would like to talk about the possibility of having a life coach.  Just dial 517-898-7574